I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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