I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
