No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
