benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
