Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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