i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
