I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
