did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
my poor anus
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize