How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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