Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
