What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
