does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize