oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
