Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
