Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Randomize
