The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
