Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
