is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
is it fun? or sober?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
