And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
