How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
