please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
