Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
