Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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