that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
They are going to name an STD after you.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
