last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
