We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
