i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
