so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
