so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize