she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
