capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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