I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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