i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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