He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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