If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
