I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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