margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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