so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
