I don't usually arrange sex via text message
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
