Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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