She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
