She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Boobs are out for the taking
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
