Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
