East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
