A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
