Where did you get a picture of my penis
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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