I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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