Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
