Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
