just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
