Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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