I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
