sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
