bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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