Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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