if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
