All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
