Me too!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
