We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
All I want is dick and wine.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
