oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
