Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
