I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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