did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
