So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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