You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
